On Saturday morning, a dear friend of mine passed away. Her name was Jenna and she was only 13. Some of you may know her and have seen me all over Grand Rapids with her. During my summers home, I was privileged to have the best job ever. My job was to hang out with her. I found out that she was in the hospital with pneumonia. They sedated her for something and she never woke up. They ran some tests and found out that she had suffered from several strokes. More tests revealed that these strokes caused brain damage. Her family decided to take her off life support yesterday morning.
We were 10 years apart but she was one of my best friends. We went everywhere together and not because it was my job but because I loved it. She made me laugh every day with her sarcasm and hysterical comments. I remember the first time that I met her. I went to the school to walk with her home. She came out, barely looked at me and drove past me in her wheelchair. I don't think she liked meeting new people. I kept thinking, "This is going to be the hardest job ever!" I tried keeping up with her and talking to her but her wheelchair was always pretty fast. Those first couple of days were hard. But I knew she liked me when she asked me to sit with her on the side of the road while she played her recorder and I held a sign that read, "Tips Accepted." :) I don't know how many times I sat on the side of the road with her, selling jewelry, decorated popsicle sticks and lemonade. Oh the lemonade stands that we had!
I have memories of her in almost every place that I can think of in Grand Rapids. Breaking the heater with her chair at Weight Watchers, playing hide-and-go-seek at the library, finding some inappropiate toy animals at Target, chillin' at Caribou, talking loudly and laughing during movies, getting a free meal at Bixby's, picnics at the Pokegama Dam or at the Veteran's Park (which we had another name for), getting yelled at by a creepy boy at Gunn Park, stealing charts from the hospital so we could legitimately play doctor where she would be "Dr. Volleyball", falling in love with a lumberjack at St. Louis County Fair, constant troubles with Ralph William Wannamaker (the stubborn/unpredictable ramp), accidentally locking her in the hot van outside of the library where she pulled through and reached my purse and unlocked it! I am going to miss her silent laugh, her dance moves, her little hands, her unbelievable ability to improv, the squeaks of her wheelchair, her uncanny MarioKart skills, her lip syncing into the rearview mirror, her facebook updates and photo comments, and yes, I will also miss her attitude.
The night before she was going to be taken off life support I had a dream about her. I dreamt that I went to go see her in the hospital. When I got there, she was awake and was talking. I didn't get to talk to her. I saw her and she got up and walked over to her mom. I was amazed. I started talking to her sister-in-law and she told me that everything was fine. Some kind of miracle happened. Not only did she wake up but she could walk. She walked again for me with the help of her mom. I can't decide if it was a good dream or a bad dream. I was happy during the dream, but then I woke up and remembered. It does give me hope that she is in heaven and she really is able to walk. But it still made me really sad to think that she won't be there when I come home. That I won't be able to have her as a bridesmaid. :) assuming that I get married. I won't be able to spend another summer doing crazy things with her. I am praying that I am able to dwell on the times that I did have and not dwell on things that will never be. It's not healthy to think that way, I've decided.
I looked at her facebook page recently and found a quote that she had put up. I don't remember seeing it before. It said, "“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”♥ I will always remember her and I will forever miss her too. She taught me to be braver. Not care what other people think. Act silly. Speak your mind. Let people stare at you if they want to. And to love life regardless of the one you've been given.
this is beautiful kristin.
ReplyDelete