why i love Him

It's been almost a month since the terrorist attacks here in Moscow. The world has moved on and news coverage has stopped and now covers some other bombing in some other nation. I woke up that morning (still out sick from school) to news about the bombing. All over the internet were articles from all over the world reporting on what had just happened in the city where I live. It didn't seem real. But in a way, it wasn't surprising. It's the world we live in now. As much as governments want to "crack down on terrorism" it doesn't seem to be getting better but the opposite. But I have thought about it before. While on the metro, I've pictured someone getting on and having a bomb or a gun. I've thought about what I would do. Would I hide behind someone or would I be the one to protect someone else? Would I even be able to help the homeless man that was sleeping next to me? Or would I hide behind the woman that just gave me a dirty look? It's strange to get on the metro in such a big city. Millions of people take the metro every day. I have seen SO many people that I will never see again. I will never see those people again. We shared a 5 minute ride standing shoulder to shoulder, or in some more awkward rush hour situations, face to face. We share 5 minutes together and that's it. It's such a strange thing for me, coming from such a small town. But just because their life has little impact on mine, it does not mean that their life is not important. I look at the skinny Russian woman with expensive clothes, impossibly high heels, and stone cold face and I am amazed that God knows this woman even though I will never know her and loves this woman even though I don't. I am almost overwhelmed by the unknown that I come across here. I watch the old man slowly walk past the Starbucks window, glancing in for just a second. What is his story? Is he walking home to see his wife? What sorts of amazing stories does he have to tell that someone may never hear? Does he know that the Lord loves him? The young man standing by the street repeatedly checking his phone...is he waiting for someone? Is the girl he likes standing him up? Is he sad? Does HE know that the Lord loves him? I honestly want to know their stories. I want to know about their lives. Dozens of these people that I don't know died that morning. It's somewhat horrible that in today's world, a bombing that kills only dozens isn't that bad. Now thousands, that would have been bad. The news would not have moved on quite so quickly and the world would have grieved a little longer. But even then, life must go on, right? Tell that to the mother of a young man killed on the platform at 8:00 that morning. Why was he killed when he had nothing to do with the anger of the woman with a bomb strapped to her? Why was the woman so angry in the first place? I'm not going to pretend that I have the answer to these questions. I don't know why people think killing themselves and killing others will make a government change it's mind or policies. I don't understand.
Recently someone asked me why I decided live here and to come back next year. I couldn't really say why. We started talking about Russia in general. He said something like, there is no real hope here and he didn't see much hope in the future. I actually agreed with him at the time. Later, I was thinking about it and I couldn't disagree more. How could I say that a place has no hope?? How could I possibly know what the future holds? As dark and corrupt as Russia can appear at times, God is still in control. No matter who the President or Prime Minister may be, God is still in control. Proverbs 21:1 says that the heart of a king is in the hand of the Lord. God controls the king and controls that nation. Like the song by Chris Tomlin says, "You're the God of this city. You're the king of these people. You're the Lord of this nation." God is still at work in Russia. He is at work in the lives of the people that I walk past every day. He is at work in the life of the man sitting alone at the table next to me. The thought of this simply AMAZES me. Millions of people that God is working on. Millions of people that He loves and knows everything about. He knows when they sit and when they rise. He knit them in their mother's womb. They were all fearfully and wonderfully made each with their own specific purpose. (Psalm 139). Whether or not they love Him back or choose to acknowledge His existence, He loves them like no one else in their lives can ever love them. So as long as God is still God, there is always hope. I love God for that. I love God not because I'm told to or because I need some sort of made up comfort or made up sense of security. So why do I love Him? I love Him because He first loved me. I love Him because He loves the old man resting on his cane outside. I love Him because He loves the drunk man walking down the sidewalk whom everyone ignores. I love Him because He's real and I can feel Him. I love him because He loves you. That's why I love Him.